I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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