We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about