Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.

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(401): We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night. http://tfl.nu/piwb

Replies (12) Good night (8216) Bad night (1211)
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(302): View more from Delaware

just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day

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(302): just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day http://tfl.nu/bsdz

Replies (6) Good night (5224) Bad night (822)
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(727): View more from Florida

just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer

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(727): just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer http://tfl.nu/wsrg

Replies (16) Good night (3876) Bad night (1120)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.

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(303): I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder. http://tfl.nu/f12p

Replies (21) Good night (9536) Bad night (1451)
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(519): View more from Ontario

You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.

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(519): You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know. http://tfl.nu/dzr5

Replies (15) Good night (6973) Bad night (1170)
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(620): View more from Kansas

He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.

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(620): He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening. http://tfl.nu/b9i7

Replies (16) Good night (4106) Bad night (909)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

...i wondered where i left that...

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(732): please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong... (1-732): ...i wondered where i left that... http://tfl.nu/q7mv

Replies (3) Good night (2468) Bad night (644)
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(904): View more from Florida

The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.

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(904): The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party. http://tfl.nu/d07s

Replies (12) Good night (1362) Bad night (607)
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(512): View more from Texas

I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.

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(512): I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight. http://tfl.nu/hr3p

Replies (0) Good night (983) Bad night (488)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.

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(812): Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible. http://tfl.nu/givh

Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (784)
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(731): View more from Tennessee

He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me

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(731): He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me http://tfl.nu/hoyn

Replies (6) Good night (1024) Bad night (350)
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(806): View more from Texas

Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there

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(806): Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there http://tfl.nu/qxkk

Replies (5) Good night (741) Bad night (441)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.

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(701): Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open. http://tfl.nu/k8hm

Replies (9) Good night (2159) Bad night (367)
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(516): View more from New York

I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us

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(516): I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us http://tfl.nu/ed1l

Replies (0) Good night (319) Bad night (605)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score

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(717): I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score http://tfl.nu/bx9v

Replies (1) Good night (301) Bad night (233)

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