Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.