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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.

  (1-434): View more from Virginia

  Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.

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• (310): View more from California

  Slut skills are useful in every country.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.

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• (925): View more from California

  Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.

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  These 23 People Had Coworkers From Hell

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (847): View more from Illinois

  Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles

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• (817): View more from Texas

  It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.

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  21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (410): View more from Maryland

  Bad breakup?

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.

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• (228): View more from Mississippi

  I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.

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• (716): View more from New York

  It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?

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