Slut skills are useful in every country.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just said "you do you" to my penis.