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I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
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