omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
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Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
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Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?