Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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