So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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