What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
