Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
