Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
