It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
