the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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