woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
