Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Two words: nipple clamps
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