i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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