Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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