We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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