he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
