try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
