Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
All I want is dick and wine.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
