my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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