your thong is hanging out like whoa
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
