Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
