Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
