YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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