The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
