I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
