he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
