i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize