So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
