I cockslap morals
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Randomize