I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
