how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
do herpes really smell.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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