I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
