He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
