i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
