im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
