haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
