Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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