i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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