Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Can i not drive my cunt home
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
either way he was missing a nipple.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
