just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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