There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
