At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
