I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
