Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize