I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
