ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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