Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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