I hate all girls vehemently.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
