fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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