those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
