Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
