maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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