i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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