So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
