Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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