friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
The air was thick with penises
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
