ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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