i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
