im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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