If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
