dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
