try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Randomize
