My hair reeks of homosexuality.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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