Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
