plz talk dirty to me
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
