Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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